WARNING-rough road ahead

Have you ever been riding down the road and come upon a sign "WARNING rough road ahead, drive carefully?" Usually it means that you are going to have to slow down, block out the other stuff and focus on the road ahead.

I woke up at 4:00 this morning and just couldn't get my mind off a certain situation. I got up in hopes that I wouldn't wake Andy up. I looked on the Internet, looked at Facebook, read email; anything I could think of hoping that I could take my mind off this particular situation. I knew deep in my heart it didn't matter, but I couldn't get over the feeling I had. I was frustrated! I was upset! Why Lord, why do things always seem to fall into place for these individuals? What are we doing wrong? I decided to email a friend, knowing that she wouldn't get it right away, since it was 4:30 in the morning after all. However, as I typed I could feel a load lifting off my shoulders.

As I typed I thought about what was really important to me and my family. What really matters in this world. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the material things of this world-house, car, jewelry, furniture, clothes, etc. It's so easy for me to look at what others have and think, "wow, they've got it all!" A few weeks ago a dear friend of mine Lia said something that has really stuck with me. (I can't remember exactly how she said it, but it was much better than my summary here...) She said that when she questions why things happen the way they do, she is reminded that she is on Earth to carry out HIS plan for her life. I too have to remind myself that this is the plan HE has for my life. So even when I don't understand why things happen the way they do, I remind myself that God has it all taken care of! I can't look at what other's have and question...I have to look up and have faith that I am right where HE wants me to be!

So why the title of this post? Because once I sat down this morning and took time to think about the situation, I felt like God was saying "WARNING Rita-rough road ahead." The next year is going to be a year of transition, a year of new challenges. I am sure there will be a lot more warning signs in my future. But if I slow down, block out the other stuff and focus on HIM, it's going to be OH SO GOOD!

Amazed

***Warning, this is a boastful mommy post!!!***

Every day Caroline does something new and I am amazed at how she is changing so quickly. Just this week she has started saying yes and nodding her head. It's so nice to hear something other than no!! (Thanks Mrs. Jerri-she's been working on this with Caroline)

For the last 2 or 3 months, Caroline hasn't really been interested in reading her books, she prefers to turn the pages... I was really concerned but everyone told me that it was just a phase. This weekend, she sat in my lap for about 30 minutes and we read and read. As soon as Andy walked out the room, she walked straight up to him. She picked up her book, sat in his lap and said "brown bear." Sure enough it was "Brown Bear, Brown Bear." Then today, we were playing in the den. I asked her to go pick up her oops book so that we could read it. Sure enough, she walked over, looked around and then picked up "Blue Hat, Green Hat" which we call the oops book.

Tonight, as we were walking out the door to go to Church, I asked Caroline "who made this mess?" (blocks were scattered from one end of the den to the other) She said with a smile "daddy." Exactly I thought...

I am such a proud mommy...

The Circus

We had a great time yesterday afternoon at the Circus. Caroline sat for about an hour and a half which was much better than we expected. I don't think she moved for the first 30 minutes. Caroline was very thankful that Tyler shared his popcorn even though she wasn't thrilled about sharing her marshmallows with him! Until next time...

Lenten Candles

our centerpiece

Every year, along with the beautiful Chrismon trees in our church, we have a beautiful Advent Wreath. Each Sunday as we prepare for Christmas, the birth of Christ, we light a candle. Once all the candles are burning, it is absolutely beautiful. This symbolizes that Jesus truly is the light of the world.

According to Noel Piper (pg. 94), Lent, like Advent, is a time of waiting. Advent is the time leading up to our Savior's birth. Lent, however, is the time leading up to our Saviours death. To show this/teach this to our children, Piper suggest starting Lent with seven lighted candles. Each Sunday in Lent, one candle is blown out. Continue with Maundy Thursday, and finally on Good Friday the last candle is extinguished. This helps us understand that Jesus, the light of our world, is gone. It's completely dark without him. John 1:5 "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." On Easter morning, light all 7 candles and show that darkness cannot put out the Light!

We have placed 7 candles on our kitchen table. Each night as we eat dinner, we are going to eat by the light of our candles. Each week we will extinguish one candle until we will be eating in complete darkness. I think it will help us, as well as Caroline (as she gets older), truly understand what Lent is and why Easter morning is so important!

If you are looking for a quick, easy, life changing read, I highly recommend Noel Piper's book "Treasuring God In Our Traditions."

Weekend smiles

We loved the time at home with our family this weekend. We only had plans for one thing, a friends surprise birthday party. Unfortunately things didn't go as planned and I didn't make it. Otherwise, we vowed to keep this weekend free from plans and commitments... it worked. We had a date night at home with a yummy meal and a "red box $1" movie-"Jules and Julia." Saturday we worked around the house, getting A LOT of things done! We met our friends Lia and Stacey and their beautiful daughters for a nice walk on our local trail. We walked for over an hour, thank you Lord for the beautiful weather this weekend!

2 guys and a girl

Josie decided to take a nap in Noelle's stroller (Noelle was with her mother...)

Caroline and Abbey

We loved our time with Caroline. It's amazing how quickly she is growing up and how much she is changing every day! We had her in the floor, tickling her thighs, which made her laugh till she was out of breath. One of those times, she tried to get away and ended up on her arms and head and did a flip. Well she thought that was the greatest thing ever! She decided that she need to keep doing it, it was too much fun to stop.

Later after we had been reading for about 30 minutes, she walks up to her daddy and hands him "Brown Bear Brown Bear" and says "brown bear daddy." It was priceless.

Little girl excitement!

The closest thing that I can compare the excitement I felt today is to being a little girl. Do you ever remember being so excited over something you didn't know whether to laugh, scream, jump up and down, run, call a friend or do all of the above? That is exactly how I felt today.

Since Andy and I decided that I would stay at home next year, we have really been working to save our money and spend what we do have very wisely. We had two payments (Caroline's adoption and Andy's car) that we wanted to "pay in full" while I still had an income. When we updated our budget for 2010, we knew that it would take all of the "extra" to pay those two bills plus our taxes. So being that I am the "financial" person, I was anxious about getting our taxes back. Although I know that Philippians 4:6 say "Do not be anxious about anything but in everything through prayer and petition, present your request to God" I still wanted to be in control, I wanted to know that my plan was going to work out. When I dropped off our tax information on Tuesday, they told me that they would most likely have them ready on Wednesday. Wednesday came, no call. Thursday came, no call. Finally, this afternoon, we got "the call." Normally they tell us over the phone what our return is, not today...

I love my husband, the one who keeps me grounded and keeps things in perspective. On the way over, he said "Rita, I know how you are with tax returns. You have high expectations and then when the let down comes, you get upset. What are your expectations for this?" I thought for a second and I told him what I hoped for. A number that would make the rest of the budget fall into place. I went inside and the sweet little lady gave me our packet. She told me what we were getting back, I paid and walked out the door. Here is where the little girl excitement came in. Do I run to the car to show Andy? Do I scream "thank you Jesus" in the parking lot? Do I remain calm and let Andy think it's not as good as it really is? I tried to remain calm but there wasn't a single person who could wipe the smile off my face!!

It took Andy and I a second to really realize what had just happened. God was providing in a way that only HE can! God knew our need and HE met it! We sat in the parking lot and talked about the way that the Lord cares about the little things in our life. How he provides even when we don't give him the credit, when we become anxious and worry about His plan. There was a particular situation that occurred last year that threw a kink in our tax plans. We weren't able to claim it until this year. I was SO angry, my plan didn't work out. Guess what God knew... He knew that we would need it this year. He knew where we would be!

This is just another example about how much he cares about the little things in our life. It reminds Andy and I that when we give up our selfish desires and turn to HIM, he will provide. I thought about Matthew 6:26 "Look at the birds in the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet our Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Throughout this entire journey to me being a stay at home Mommy, we have felt complete peace about the financial change in our house. We both know that God will provide, He will meet our every NEED! This is just another way He is showing us, He has it all under control! Trust HIM, HE will provide!

So even after screaming, calling a friend and leaping in the air, I am still filled with that little girl excitement! Thank you Lord for continuing to show us your glory! :0)

Preparing for Easter

What do you think about when you think of Easter? What does Easter mean to you? What do you do to prepare for Easter? Honestly, when I think of Easter, I think of Easter Sunday. Beautiful clothes, our beautiful flower covered cross at Church, the Easter bunny and the celebration of Jesus rising from the dead. Growing up I remember carrying the palm branches in the church on Palm Sunday. I also remember enjoying Good Friday off from school-it was the day we left to go to the beach for the weekend. We got up Easter morning and enjoyed a beautiful sunrise service on the beach. I am sure we all have childhood memories of what Easter meant to us.

I recently received a great gift in the mail. My dear friend Sage knows that I am all about traditions and wanting to start traditions for my family. Sage read the book "Treasuring God in our Traditions" by Noel Piper and thought of us. Sage mentioned a section on Easter and suggested that I start there since the Easter season was upon us. I did and I am so glad that I started there. Here we are on the eve of Ash Wednesday...

Tomorrow starts the first day of Lent. When I think of Lent, I think of something that I HAVE to give up. Why? Because that's what I have always done... (not a good reason) Noel Piper says (pg. 93) "Lent is a season of sober, realistic reflection on our own lives and our need for a Savior. It's a time of turning away from anything that has kept us from God and for turning or returning to him. It's a time to pray that God will renew our love for him and our dependence on him." WOW, that is HUGE! Then Piper begins to talk about fasting. Many churches fast during Lent. She says that (pg. 93) "Fasting is two-sided. It's not just turning away from something for a while, but it is also turning toward God." Piper's husband John Piper defines "Christian fasting as a test to see what really controls us."

When I came across this information, it really blew me away. It made me think about what this season of Lent really means to me as a believer. These 40 days are truly significant and not just a religious holiday. With this information, I knew that I really needed to give a lot of thought as to what I was going to give up for Lent. What will help me reflect on my life? What will make me realize just how much I need to depend on him for life changes? What is something that I need to turn from while also turning to him? Now to some of you, you might think this is silly. But to me it truly is something that I struggle with. I struggle with my weight. I eat when I am not hungry. I don't have the will power to pass by sweets or a candy jar without treating myself. I know what I need to do but I don't have the strength to do it on my own.

Therefore this year for Lent, I am giving up "unhealthy" food choices. This includes eating when I am truly NOT hungry, eating a piece of candy because I see it, etc. Does this mean I won't eat dessert at all? No but it does mean that I will make better choices and maybe treat myself to one or two sweets per week verses one or two sweet treats a day. Along with turning away from "unhealthy" food choices, I am turning to the Lord by memorizing 2 Chronicles 15:7 "But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded." When I am faced/tempted by "unhealthy" choices I am going to recite this verse and remind myself that I will be rewarded for my efforts. That my Lord is the only one who will help me to be strong and not give up.

I will keep you updated...we will see how it goes. Stay tuned, there is a lot more to learn from Noel Piper!!

Coupons and any other money saving tips!

I am really ready to see myself save some $$$$ in the food budget (and other areas too). I started clipping coupons a few months ago. They kept piling up in the same spot, I took a few when I went to the grocery, saved a few dollars, spent a lot more, etc. Well I finally found the baseball card holders, I have the three ring binder and coupons to go inside. However, I am a tad bit overwhelmed with how to organize it all. I know some people have very specific categories. I am a little nervous that the more categories I have, the harder it will be. I would love any and all tips!

On a lighter note, I sat down and made a grocery list for this week. Very general but specific-4 meats, 4 vegies, fresh fruit, crackers, etc. When I got to Harris Teeter, I bought only the items on sale. My meats were chicken, pork chops and a pork tenderloin. I got broccoli and aspragus. Fresh strawberries buy one get one free. Caroline's milk wasn't on the list but it was on sale (.89 off). I spent $35 and saved $20. I was very excited! (that was without COUPONS, just think how well I could have done if I would have had some...)

I am more determined than ever to save my family as much money as I can. I would love to hear your money saving tips!

Early Morning sweetness

I am up way too early on this Valentine's day. I am finishing my lesson plans so that I won't have to miss out on time with my family later. Caroline also thought she needed to get up this morning as well. Lucky for me she is staying in her crib. :0) As I was typing, I could hear something on the monitor. I turned it up and heard the sweetest little voice talking to herself. I can't really describe what she was saying because it was jabberish. But I do know one thing, I LOVED every minute of it and it made me thankful that I was awake to hear it!

Snow 2010

Can you believe that we had approximately 2-4 inches of snow the weekend of Valentine's? It was so pretty. I only wish that it would have snowed during the day light hours so that we could really enjoy it's beauty. However, it was nice to wake up to a winter wonderland! Caroline LOVED the snow! She got down and went straight in it! She wasn't very happy when we had to come in even though she was really wet and covered in snow!

last night as the snow was starting

right before bed

this morning (compared to the first picture from last night)

God's work at his best!

Our snow covered home

"I'm not really sure what that white stuff is but it looks like SO MUCH FUN! Let's Go!!"

This is so much FUN!

my angel

Mommy enjoying a snowfilled hug
"Watch out Daddy, I'm going nail you with a snowball if I could just figure out how to make one..."

Playing follow the leader

On all fours

Nothing like Daddy's snow cream to end a great snow day...

Until the next snow storm...

Fun days

my heart... who wouldn't want to go to work and see this face everyday!!

Caroline and I have enjoyed some sweet moments together the last few days. It gives me a little taste of what's to come. I know there will be tough days but I will have to remind myself to focus on the sweet little things she does. She's a hand full and is completely FEARLESS!! (She doesn't get this from me...) Here are some snap shots of our day.

sleeping beauty-the calmest part of our day

taking a break... what will I do next?

I'm ready for church!

Caroline making her first Valentines for her friends. Notice the marker on her lips, she thought she should try it. Not a good color to see pouring from your child's lips.

Everything a girl needs-hair done, lovey, and my pocket book

If you push I'll ride, it's more fun that way.

I'm loving my new headband my mommy bought me!

I'm enjoying rocking in my chair, drinking my milk and loving my new bedroom slippers!

looking forward to more fun times to come :0)

phones and family meals...

So if you call and we don't answer, there may be a good reason... We only had 2 working phones (trying to hold off buying new ones). Well now we only have 1 working phone. Caroline thought it would be a great idea to toss one of them in a tub of water. Thankfully no one was hurt! However, trying to keep up with one phone is harder than it seems. Lucky for us, Andy found a great deal on a set of three and they should be here by mid week.



Now that Caroline is a little older and can go longer between meals, we are trying to start having more "family" meals at the table. I was so excited! I made BBQ pork chops, Spanish rice and green beans. We all sat down together, Caroline folded her hands while we said the blessing, said AMN and immediately started digging in. She would take a bit, laugh and pat her tongue. She thought maybe she was just being funny. She kept shoveling it in, so we didn't really think anything about it. Then ask Andy and I started eating our Spanish Rice we realized it was really spicy, which it usually isn't. HUM... By this time Caroline is now patting her tongue constantly and whining. Then it hit me... her sweet little mouth was on FIRE! I didn't pay attention to the diced tomatoes that I picked up and bought the ones with chili's. Oh well there's always tomorrow night...

Scary

Today I have an interview! Yikes, I haven't said that in 8 years!!!! Andy and I worked on my resume this past weekend and that too was scary. I feel so inadequate. However, I am trusting the Lord to go before me and give me guidance during this process.

His Plan

For those of you who truly know me, you know that I love to have a PLAN before I do anything. What time are we leaving, when will we be back? What are we planning to do, I need to make sure I have the right stuff? I always want a plan... However, the Lord is slowly showing me (ok, he's been working HARD for a long, it's just taking me a while to realize) that HE has my PLAN and HE KNOWS what I need. HE has prepared everything ahead of me, I just need to give up control and be obedient to HIM. Seriously, that's tough for a girl like me!!

I did a Bible Study years ago and came across a verse in Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hoped for and certain of what we do not see." A few weeks ago I came across it again in our Sunday School study of Hebrews. It pierced my heart! Do I really have faith in what I can not see? Do I really trust Him to work out the details. What happens if I do trust Him and have faith in his plan but it doesn't match my plan? Will he provide everything I need?

I like for everything to be just right! I am my worse critic! I want to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect friend, the perfect teacher. Boom Caroline came along and I realized I was anything but perfect. I have struggled with the fact that I am not perfect, nor will I ever be on this side of Heaven. I have struggled with knowing what needs to be done and actually doing it.

This year I have really struggled with who gets the most from me? Who gets the best Rita? Is it my wonderful husband who is so thoughtful and goes above and beyond to help me? Is it Caroline who is learning, growing and changing everyday? Is it my friends who love me, send me cards and emails? All of the above do these things getting very little in return. Or is it my career that gets the best 8 hours of my day? When I really thought about it, it's my career. I LOVE teaching. I know that God put me on this Earth to teach! To love on my sweet babies, to encourage them and equip them with the tools they need to succeed in life. That's the good. The bad is that while I am away teaching, somebody else is left to give Caroline the tools she needs in life to succeed. The ugly part is that at the end of the day, I don't have a lot left to give. I am tired and ready to unwind. That's not fair to me or my family.

Therefore, we are taking a step of faith and trusting in HIS plan! Andy and I have decided that I will stay at home next year with Caroline. (I will be looking for something part time, 2 or 3 days a week, 3 or 4 hours a day working in a private kindergarten/preschool. We know that socialization is important for Caroline and me too!!) Yes, it's a HUGE change for us. However, we feel like God is providing this opportunity for our family and we are going to take it. It won't be easy I am sure. We have already started preparing by living on one income. It's a challenge, I am not going to lie to you. It's tough to tell someone I can't because we just don't have the extra money. But in the end, we know that it will be best for our family. We know that God will provide us with everything that we need! We just have to be obedient to Him. And when it gets really tough, know that He is molding us and shaping us into the people He wants us to be.

"The Prodigal God" By Tim Keller

Have you ever had something fall in your lap and completely change your outlook? Have you ever had someone or something completely call you out? Well that is exactly what this book has done for our family!!! It is amazing. I could write a book about how GOOD this book is.

We always think of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15 who asks for his 1/3 of his inheritance and leaves. After he lives a life of foolishness and squanders everything he has, he decides to come home. He is willing to work his way back into the family and repay his father for everything that he lost. As his father sees him in the distance, he pulls up his robe and RUNS to meet his son. He gladly welcomes him home and throws a party in his honor. The Elder brother, who has stayed with the father, "slaved" on the farm, always did what was right, was angry to say the least. He was so furious that he chose not to attend the party, even after his father pleaded with him. The father explained that everything he had left was the elder brothers... still not enough.

Although the story ends here, there is so much more in this little parable. In those days, for a father to give away 1/3 of his estate was huge. For the son to ask for his inheritance was like wishing his father dead. Then when the father saw the son appear, for him to pull up his robe and run, totally unheard of during those days. Royalty just didn't do that, but his father did. He was so happy to have his son home! The elder brother, who I totally identify with, was MAD. "Why does he get the fatten calf? I didn't even get a goat..."

How many times do we identify with the elder brother? (Too many to count unfortunately in my life...) Instead of being thankful that his brother had come home, the elder brother was more concerned about his inheritance, his share of the land. When he chose not to attend the celebration, his father pleaded with him, "PLEASE come inside. Everything that I have is yours, but we must celebrate that your brother was LOST but is now found..."

How often are we LOST and yet our true father seeks us and RUNS after us to welcome us home? He doesn't ask us to work our way back into his grace, he freely gives it. I didn't realize until this book that I too am like the elder brother. God I am good, I go to Church, I live a good life, I take care of my family... WHY does she get the easy life? Why does he get the same privileges as me? Why are you so forgiving of what they have done? Instead I should be thankful that HE LOVES me and accepts me. While I am looking at the negative sin in their life, I have so much more in my life!

One of the things in the book that really hit home for me was when Keller said, "We must repent for the reason why we do the good things we do." Ouch that HURT! Sure I do a lot of good things, but why? Is it because I truly want to do them or is it because I feel like I get another gold star for being generous? Do I do things because God did so much for me that I want others to experience the same love? Do I truly realize what it cost our "Father" to give me the life he has? Am I worthy of his love? Why did he seek ME? What's my passion? That's a tough question which sometimes has some "ugly" answers...

If you are still with me, thanks! I know this is a long post... but this is the short version . I could go on and on about what God revealed to me in this book! I am telling you it has struck ever fiber of my being and made me rethink everything I have ever thought about what being a Christian is all about! If you are looking for a new book, get it. I promise you will be glad you did!

Good times (and a wonderful husband!!)

This weekend marks the second annual kindergarten teachers retreat at the beach. One of our fellow teachers, Beth, has a gorgeous home at the beach. (actually her in laws) The last two years they have graciously opened their home to us to enjoy. Last year I wasn't able to go and this year I decided to go for the night. It was wonderful! We had a blast! We have a great group! It's so nice to enjoy time together away from school.

Andy, my sweet husband... I am so thankful for a wonderful husband who is willing to take care of our little one so that I can enjoy time away with my friends. I am always amazed at how much better I feel when I come back... refreshed! Ready to tackle the laundry, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, etc. Not only did her take care of Caroline, he also had the house cleaned and supper was ready when I got home! I love that man!!! :-)

Our mornings together

This is what I find when it's quiet...

as you can tell, she was very proud of herself!

Here she found Daddy's hat

When it's quiet, I am never really sure what I am going to find. Some situations are better than others... Oh how I love being a mommy! I do believe I have one of the sweetest angels on the Earth! :0)

Pure sweetness...

Caroline woke up early this morning coughing and couldn't go back to sleep. I was already running behind... all she wanted was to be held... all I could think about was oh I am going to be SO late. But as soon as I picked her up, she melted into my arms and all those other thoughts no longer mattered. The house was quiet and dark. My sweet baby girl was cuddled up in my arms snoring. As we rocked together, I was reminded how lucky I am. I was reminded of how precious she really is. The gift that she truly is to us.

It's so easy to get overwhelmed, tired and frustrated when things get off schedule or don't go as planned. But I am slowly learning, yes it has taken almost 17 months to realize, that we will never get that time with back her. Today truly is a gift. We aren't promised tomorrow. We have to take advantage of today. She changes so quickly! Each day is another part of the stage/phase and they pass so quickly. Before long, she will be on to something new.

I can't go back and change the way I spent the last 30 minutes. But as I go through my day, I will reminded of our precious time together and smile... because being a mommy is the best job ever!