To say that we are in one of those "tough" seasons of parenting is an understatement! Someday's I feel like all we do is argue or discipline...anybody else out there feel that way? She is adorable, precious, cutest little princess I know, yet she has a sharp tongue, an angry face and LOTS of tears!! Sometimes the harder I try to love and nurture, the more difficult she is...
Some say I have issues with control while others say I have issues with perfectionism. (This is certainly nothing new...oh if only my daddy was here to give me another lecture on these issues of mine...although you would have thought I would have learned after hearing him repeat the same thing over and over in my life) Well all you mothers out there know that BOTH of these make for some UGLY situations when parenting...along with PMS or a sinus infection, or just lack of sleep...Kids have a way of embarrassing you while in public, doing anything BUT the one thing you asked them not to do, while you are at the end of your rope and feeling completely hopelessness...barely holding on, knuckles white from the strong grip and quickly realizing just how close you are to letting go...NEEDING the Father's wisdom (and LOVE) more than ever before!
Tonight started a new series of electives at church. Yes Andy and I said we were taking the spring session off but we didn't. And I KNOW God intended for me to be in this class...as I listened to others in the class, as I listened to our leaders Chris and Dottie as well as the author of the book/study Gary Thomas, I was broken and brought to tears. I knew God had a specific message for ME-Rita...It's not so much about raising our children to live "sin-free" good lives that make us look like parents of the year, as it is about God shaping our lives into the loving, God centered individuals he desires us to become!
- 2 Corinthians 7:1 "Dear friends, let us PURIFY OURSELVES from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God"
- 1 Timothy 4:16 "Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers."
- 1 Timothy 4:15 "Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress."
We finished the night by reciting the following prayer included in our study guides:
- "Father, thank you for giving us the particular children you have placed in our home. We believe you are a God of providence, and whether we gave birth to these children or WELCOMED them through ADOPTION, we trust that you knew what you were doing when you called us to become our children's parents."
Reminder to Rita-God knew...He knew what I needed to bring me to my knees, to learn to let go of my tight grip on things and trust him, He knew that my adorable, strong willed, very confident, larger than life little princess was just what this mommy needed! I have to remind myself of that so often...that I was and will always be HER mommy, the mommy God intended me to be. And when I think about that...oh what a sweet gift motherhood is, even the craziness of it all!
Although it might not sound like it, I am thrilled about the next 5 weeks of this class. I look forward to many more good cries with people who feel the same way I do. Hopefully I will be back to give you an update...until then my dear friends, pray for me, pray that God would soften my heart and mold me into the woman he wants me to be...and I too will pray for you and your family! :0)
Good night my friends, I think a good nights rest is just what this mommy needs!
